Some leaders think that being right is what matters and what they get paid to do - I don’t see it that way.
I coached a very successful engineer at a very successful company and he lamented that his approach was not being recognized as the right way to do research. He believed in minimal structure, process and more of a free flowing exchange of ideas. He continuously complained to me that the restrictions of structure were in his way and ruining what made the company great. He gave me example after example to make his case and he was often frustrated that no one listened. One day I said the magic words - although at the time they just made him more frustrated.
“So what, you’re right, how is that working for you?” He said, in response, “what do you mean so what, I’m right – isn’t what’s right, what matters?” And I responded “no, not even close – being right is highly over-rated”.
He came back several days later and wanted to talk more about this foreign concept, that there might be something more important than being right. And, in fact, we often re-visited this topic in our coaching sessions.
What could be more important than being right?
How about making some progress? - When you know you’re right, and you don’t get what you want, you sometimes don’t move forward at all. You’re right, they’re wrong and you’re at an impasse.
How about someone on your team feeling like they matter because you didn’t come into the room sure about the outcome.
How about your boss feeling like you are listening and understanding the pressures he is feeling to meet a current deadline or reduce costs?
When you know you are right, other people are often made to feel wrong. Feeling wrong doesn’t usually produce a good outcome. It often produces frustration and sometimes anger.
How about letting go of right and wrong and being open to what’s possible?
Try letting go of being right next time you are sure you are, and see what happens!